so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
last night I used snow as a chaser
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize