I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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