My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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