So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
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I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
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Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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