marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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