I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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