Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
