I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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