so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize