No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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