Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
