:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Randomize
