some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
