oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
