He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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