Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
My apartment stinks of burning failure
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
