she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
