shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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