Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
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