somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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