thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
