I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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