What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
