Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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