Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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