Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
