I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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