she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Verdict: uncircumcised.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize