Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
