I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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