brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
two words: eviction party
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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