and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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