its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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