i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
