Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.