Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(608): View more from Wisconsin

You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(608): You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied. http://tfl.nu/sqjw

Replies (10) Good night (4159) Bad night (568) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(847): View more from Illinois

Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(847): Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex. http://tfl.nu/aztc

Replies (89) Good night (13332) Bad night (1476) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(251): View more from Alabama

He managed to light the Jello on fire...

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(251): He managed to light the Jello on fire... http://tfl.nu/tu7i

Replies (16) Good night (5701) Bad night (827) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(717): View more from Pennsylvania

RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(717): RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea? http://tfl.nu/y40i

Replies (46) Good night (1265) Bad night (7586) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(508): View more from Massachusetts

He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(508): He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well.... http://tfl.nu/3a9p

Replies (4) Good night (1802) Bad night (1162) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(970): View more from Colorado

I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(970): I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat. http://tfl.nu/yfuv

Replies (13) Good night (2152) Bad night (1158) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(217): View more from Illinois

I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(217): I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem' http://tfl.nu/0jvg

Replies (22) Good night (1750) Bad night (3230) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(402): View more from Nebraska

You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(402): You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement. http://tfl.nu/xw5k

Replies (14) Good night (4307) Bad night (605) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(407): View more from Florida

And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."

(407): View more from Florida

That's called being sensitive.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(407): And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now." (407): That's called being sensitive. http://tfl.nu/l8tt

Replies (6) Good night (1812) Bad night (579)
Favorite
(715): View more from Wisconsin

It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(715): It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction http://tfl.nu/kbcm

Replies (4) Good night (1232) Bad night (413) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(906): View more from Michigan

Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(906): Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too. http://tfl.nu/qk1z

Replies (10) Good night (1167) Bad night (604) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(306): View more from Saskatchewan

I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(306): I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life. http://tfl.nu/odbf

Replies (4) Good night (1055) Bad night (402) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(757): View more from Virginia

Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(757): Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today. http://tfl.nu/c0a7

Replies (7) Good night (531) Bad night (1483) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(507): View more from Minnesota

My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(507): My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu. http://tfl.nu/j0iq

Replies (8) Good night (638) Bad night (1081) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(716): View more from New York

After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(716): After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous" http://tfl.nu/zxh1

Replies (7) Good night (456) Bad night (214) Order T-Shirt

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: