Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm