She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
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he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
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Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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