i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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