Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
