I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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