i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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