I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
