; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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