Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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