I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
