I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
