Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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