I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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