Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
