he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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