You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
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