Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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