Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
