He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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