Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
tequila makes me forget i have legs
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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