I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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