Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
